3 Ways To Increase The Harmony In Your Relationship by Kramer Cruz

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes metaphorically. What one couple might find fitting and acceptable behavior, another couple may find completely intolerable. However, assuming both partners are mentally healthy, and not particularly attracted to drama, there are a few behavior points which can increase the flow of respect, harmony and even attractiveness in a relationship. 
  1. Stop Evaluating Your Partner 
No one likes to be told what’s wrong with them, or what their problem is. Especially if your communication is rooted in criticism. Reserve your opinions about your partner if they aren’t favorable. We often tend to treat strangers more politely than friends and family. Not because we want to be liked, but because a stranger doesn’t grant us the trust and comfort to say whatever we want to them. They may not communicate it, but friends and family don’t like it anymore than a stranger would. They only react less hostile because they know us more intimately. Refrain from telling your partner what’s wrong with them, even if it’s “for their own good”. Some people simply have poor relationship skills, and they have taken on some unattractive habits. Work on this if you’re one of those people and watch your relationship improvement. 
  1. Stop Trying To Make Your Partner Wrong
So many couples are caught in this game and they don’t even realize they’re playing it. They do and say things to make the other one wrong. Although they would never admit it to their partner, covertly they are making them wrong. Leaving things where the other hates, letting the dishes pile up when the other has expressed they don’t like to see it, leaving doors open when they the agreement has been made they should be closed, etc. Correcting your partners information, pronunciation, criticizing their choices… Any of these things done publicly or privately is a “passive” attack on your partner. It creates irritation. Keep an eye out for this type of behavior (in yourself) and aim to correct it by not doing it anymore. 
  1. Ask How You Can Help
A partnership is an agreement to share the load of life. No matter what level your relationship is in, whether you live together or not, if you’re serious about each other, ask your partner how you can help support them? Do they need an accountability partner for any life goals? Do they have anything they need to talk to someone about? Do they need any help planning for something? Is there some life issue they need help to solve it? Asking someone how you can help them shows support, friendship, loyalty, commitment, love and responsibility. It lets them know you care, and it will let them know they can count on you if you follow through on your agreement to help. 

Points one and two above are very subtle. So pay attention. When you get really good at those points, people say things like “I feel like I can be myself around you” “you don’t judge me” “I feel like I can tell you anything” “I always feel better after I talk to you”. These are signs that people trust you, and they like being with you. Unfortunately, most people in every type of relationship (not just intimate) do the opposite of points one and two (they evaluate and they make people wrong). You can have better relationships than them if you work on these points!

If you have any questions about this article, need more clarification, or have something specific you would like help with, please email me at Kramer.cruz@gmail.com. I will happily receive and reply to your message.
Kramer Cruz

About the author: Kramer Cruz is a self-help author, personal success coach, public speaker, and Blogger of Life In The Leap, Kramer prides himself in providing his clients the best he has to offer.

Check out his website & Blog at kramercruz.com